Over the weekend I went to Lake George with my husband, in-laws and some of my father-in-law’s co-workers. Now, I am not a large-body-of-water kind of person, I am not even really a pool person, but lakes and oceans have a special place on the scale of things that terrify me. I agreed to go on the trip because I am a big believer in family time and this would be our first time seeing Shawn’s side of the family since all of the wedding craziness. Lake Schmake, I thought, I’ll be fine. I’ll just sit on the boat, read a book, and eat some watermelon. It will be relaxing and refreshing.
Right.
As soon as the boat left the dock I began praying. In my head, I was replaying a scene of the boat flipping over again and again. With every bump from a wave I saw us flipping and I imagined myself trapped under the boat… under the murky water, trying to find a way out. I would have to open my eyes under water (um… ew) in order to see which way to move, but surely I would be able to push myself out from under the boat and gasp a sweet breath of fresh air before it was too late! It would all be ok because I would survive and have a fascinating and harrowing tale of adventure to recount for my friends and family- and even strangers! Forget small talk at parties- I would skip straight to my survivor story and be the most popular person in the room! More popular than Shawn! (Shawn is always the most popular person in the room.)
We finally stopped and let the anchor down somewhere in the middle of deep water. I was just a little bit disappointed that the tale that could have spawned my popularity would never be, but I was grateful for the fact that I hadn’t had to open my eyes under water (ew?). People started jumping into the water, someone even did a back flip off the side of the boat. Wow. People were totally not scared. I heard Shawn calling my name and glanced over to see him already in the water. I took a deep breath. I could do this. I would just get into the water. And swim. I didn’t have to be a hero and go diving off the edge of the boat or anything; I could just climb down the ladder. And swim there. Next to the boat. Everything would be fine.
I took a deep breath and slowly started removing my cover-up, stalling for time. Shawn’s mom asked me if I wanted a life vest. I looked around, no one else was wearing a life vest. No, thank you. I desperately wanted a life vest, but I was not going to be the only person wearing one. She asked if I was a good swimmer. Sure, good enough, if by good swimmer you mean doggy paddle. I slowing began descending the ladder and Shawn swam over to meet me at the bottom. The second I let go it felt like someone had slapped me in the face, punched me in the stomach, and pushed me off a cliff. I could. Not. Breath.
I had recently read an article about what it is really like when a person drowns. Apparently it’s nothing like what we see in the movies with people flailing their arms around, gasping for air, screaming for help. No. People who are drowning are practically paralyzed. They are often gone unnoticed and DIE because no one realizes that they are drowning. They don’t have enough control to flail their arms for help and they can’t scream because they are trying too hard to breathe. They just sort of bob there… and drown. I should not have read that article.
So I was bobbing there, dog paddling and thinking… if I start to drown? And lose control of my arms? It’s over. Who knows how many feet I will sink to the bottom of this lake.
Shawn asked me if I was okay and I said, “Don’t tell any-gasp-one I’m gasp hyper-gasp-ventilating!” Though, I was so not-in-control of my volume level that I’m pretty sure everyone on the boat heard me anyways.
Meanwhile, the sensible part of my brain was saying Just swim, you know how to swim. Calm down you dumb twit! And the frantic part screamed back This water will swallow you whole! You will DROWN! This will be the worst and last day of your life! Sensible: Breathe normally and you will be fine. Frantic: All it will take is a little bit of water in your mouth and you will suck it right down and DIE because you can’t control your breathing! You have no control! The water is bigger and darker and stronger than you’ll ever be!
All of this ten inches from the ladder of the boat. “Take gasp me back gasp up! I gasp want up!”
And that was the end of that.
On the way back to the dock the water was especially choppy. I prayed for reals this time that the boat would not flip, because now I knew that if it did I would die immediately. I would not be able to control my breathing and the first thing I would do would be to suck in a great big lungful of dirty lake water and DIE. Hopefully it would be quick and painless and I wouldn’t have to open my eyes. I tried not to think about it too much and instead focused on how, “One time I got into a lake and I hyperventilated…” could turn into the story that would make me the most popular person at a party.
I'm so glad you're writing a blog!! I looove reading your stories! I especially loved this one. :-)
Posted by: Cameron Otto | 07/13/2010 at 01:59 PM