Turns out I had nothing to be worried about. My mom and I like to spend our free time pretty similarly.
We both like to sleep in. We both like to take our time waking up, drinking our respective forms of caffeine, and reading our favorite blogs. We both like good food, good conversation, and appropriate amounts of comfortable silence. We both like to play our day by ear when there is nothing specific that must be done. We don't ask a lot of questions, we don't have a lot of needs or demands, we just go with the flow. It was an easy visit, I think. And, having no idea what to expect beforehand, it turned out better than I could have imagined. I had a great time with my mom.
My mom and I are a lot alike. The older I get, the more I realize that. I recognize quirks in my personality and particular mannerisms that I have inherited from my mother. It makes me feel closer to her... because I am carrying a bit of her with me, and also because I understand her better. Things that confused or bothered me as a child, I understand now. I can empathize with my mother's distinct peronality quirks because I am the same way now.
It's funny, growing up. Sometimes I feel as though I am watching myself from behind a glass window. I am aware of how I am changing and (sometimes) where the changes are coming from. I recognize bits of my father in me as well, and it brings about all of the same feelings of closeness and empathy.
I try to remember how I felt as a child about these particular traits that I have inherited from my parents so that I can consider how they might affect my own children. I feel that my own recognition of my learned behavior gives me a leg up; the opportunity to exercise a certain degree of control. I try to really emphasize the good things so that I can pass them on, and I try to be aware of when I am expressing the not-so-good things* so that I can do my best to repress them (Repress unfavorable reactions, that is, not emotions!). It's sort of my own conscious evolutionary personality process. It's my way of taking the best of both of my parents and making sure that it gets passed on to a new generation. (Eventually.)
Anyways, I suppose the point of all of this has something to do with how different/nice it is to spend time with my parents as an adult. Because I can better identify with them, I love and appreciate them so much more as unique human beings, rather than just "Mom" and "Dad". I appreciate all that they have done to bring me into this world and raise me to become a kind, responsible adult. There was a lot of "behind-the-scenes" action I wasn't aware of as a kid; I didn't appreciate the sacrifices they made for me on a daily basis... because I didn't know. Now I do. The older I get, the more I know. (And I don't even have my own kids yet! I am just waiting for that revelation!)
So, um... I think this is a very belated Thanksgiving post that just needed to come out. Cuz I just wanna say I'm grateful. I'm grateful that despite the many differences between myself and my folks, I don't see them as my outdated parents who just don't get it. I see them as two wonderful human beings that I happen to have a lot in common with. And, uh.... yeah, I had a great time with my mom!
*Note: I am grateful for the "not-so-good" things because inheriting these traits has enabled me to better understand my parents and their decisions and behavior. I am perfectly aware that I have plenty of "not-so-good" things that are all my own (yay, me!), which my own children will hopefully learn from one day.
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